So Old, So Young hooked me right away. The premise is strong, the writing is sharp, and so much of it immediately felt familiar. Grant Ginder does an excellent job capturing that millennial space between feeling young and realizing you’re suddenly not, especially when it comes to friendships and the passage of time. As a full-time working mom of three toddlers who is constantly trying not to drown under the weight of responsibility, a lot of this book hit close to home.
We follow six college friends across five parties over twenty years, from their early twenties into their forties. Mia seems like the main narrator, but each party is told through multiple perspectives. On one hand, I really appreciated this. You get a full picture of what’s happening at these gatherings including all the side conversations, unspoken tensions, and emotional undercurrents you’d never catch from just one point of view. It feels very real.
On the other hand, that structure also made it hard for me to fully connect to the characters. Because we’re inside everyone’s head, there isn’t one person you’re truly rooting for. By the end, none of the characters felt particularly likable, which I think was intentional, but still hard as a reader. While I felt like I knew them well, it also felt like I mostly saw their worst traits (resentment, dissatisfaction, regret) without enough balance from moments of joy or fulfillment.
As the book goes on, it gets heavy. And not in a way that felt productive or cathartic for me. The novel does a very good job showing how friendships drift as life stages diverge (marriage, kids, careers, loss) especially when everyone’s timeline looks different. That part felt painfully accurate. I related to a lot of it, maybe too much. Because some of my own life mirrors what’s on the page, the overall sense that none of these characters actually like where they’ve ended up really bothered me.
The ending leans sad, reinforcing the idea that growing up doesn’t necessarily mean growing happier. I finished the book feeling unsettled, like every character was stuck mourning the life they thought they’d have instead of finding peace in the one they’re living. While I appreciate the honesty and realism, I wish there had been even a small sense of hope or forward movement. Or at least been slightly less character driven with a more definitely plot and resolution. I am definitely more of a plot based reader, so that just might be me.
Overall, So Old, So Young is well-written, relatable, and thoughtful, especially for us millennials. If you’re in a season of life where friendships are changing and time feels like it’s slipping by faster than you expected, you’ll also probably enjoy this story. I’m glad I read it, and a lot of it resonated deeply. But it also left me feeling sad in a way that lingered, and not entirely in a good way. I really don’t know how to rate this so just going with a solid 4.
AMAZON | GOODREADS | BOOKSHOP |★★★★
So Old, So Young comes out February 17, 2026. Huge thank you to Gallery/Scout Press for my advanced copy in exchange for my honest opinion. If you liked this review, please let me know either by commenting below or by visiting my Instagram @speakingof.books.
